How To: Make Cut Flowers Live Longer

Have you even gotten a bouquet of flowers? I haven't but that's okay, I hate them anyway. As you're placing them in a vase you're thinking, "Great, in a few days I have to clean up this crap". However, there's a special trick into getting these unlucky organisms to live longer without having to buy those nourishment packages.

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STEP ONE: Grab a penny and a teaspoon of sugar

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STEP TWO: Drop your penny and sugar into the vase

The sugar feeds the flowers while the penny acidifies the bacteria produced from the sugar so that they live longer. This is basically torture, similar to getting your legs chopped off and being fed so that you don't die. It's sick and you should be ashamed. Thank you for reading!